Always
by effiesmahoganyx
Summary: Peeta has been head over heels in love with Katniss since he first set eyes on her when he was five. They were best friends, but Peeta's family re-located the bakery and left, leaving Katniss behind. Will Peeta remember the grey eyes of the woman he used to lovr when he was a child? Or will he say oblivious to this?
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

"Come on, Peeta." Katniss yells as she runs through the tall grass.

"Slow down, Katniss," he pleads. Katniss laugh a little at his desperate tone. She stops running when she gets to the big willow tree that is situated in the middle of the meadow. He catches up with her and instantly falls to the floor claiming she has 'tired him out.'

They lay on the floor next to each other underneath the shade of the willow tree. His breathing comes back to how it should be and he looks up to the sky, so Katniss does too.

"Look at that cloud! It looks like a dragon," Katniss giggles.

"No, it looks like a lizard!" he protests. She rolls her eyes at him and continues to stare up at the sky, watching the clouds float effortlessly around.

"It's the same thing. Lizards and dragons are the same!" Katniss exclaims.

"Katniss, I can't believe you just said that. We are no longer friends."

She sighs and turns on her side to face him, "you can't say that because we've only been friends for a few years."

"You're right, I'm silly. We'll always be friends." She nods sin response and roll's back over so she's lying on back. "Mummy and Daddy wouldn't like us being out here, they say we should stay in the town park."

"But that's boring. Come on, let's go on an adventure."

"Katniss, are you sure?" she sits up and looks towards him; she raises her eyebrow and stands so he knows she's being serious. She holds her hand out for him, he takes it and she helps him stand.

"I'll race you to the edge of the meadow, the last one there's a rotten egg!" he screams as he takes off running, his little legs running as fast as they can, carrying his body behind him. Katniss squeals before setting off running too. She sprints past him and reaches the edge of the meadow before him.

"You're a rotten egg!" she yells, poking her tongue out at him as he slowly climbs over the wooden fence that the builders put up last week to keep the sheep out of the meadow.

"No fair, you're faster than me; you should've given me a head start."

"I did, you run off before I even let go of your hand."

"Whatever, let's on that adventure you said we'd go on."

"Okay."

Katniss climbs up over the wooden fence after him, making sure my clothing doesn't get caught on the ragged wooden surface. They leave the meadow and make their way up a hill. The hill has thousands upon thousands of animals, ranging from cows to sheep. They tread up the hill, Katniss first and Peeta following. She talks to the animals, moving them out of the way with her words. They don't say much on their hike up the hill; they just talk to the animals around us and listen to them talking to them in their animal language.

"Wouldn't it be cool to speak sheep?" Katniss asks.

"Yes, we should learn sheep!" he says excitedly.

"Okay, we can do that later, first I want to show you something on our adventure."

"Okay, hurry up though, I'm hungry," he complains.

"You're always hungry." she laughs a little.

Before they know it, they're at the top of the hill and they're walking along a flat piece of land that leads to a lake. The lake is big, it has weeds surrounding the edges at one side but on the other it's beautiful. It has a little bridge that leads to an island in the middle of it and it has a little lake cabin, a wooden built hut that Katniss' father built before he died. He used to bring Katniss here all the time when she was around five and he'd tell her all the stories any child would be dying to know about their parents. How they met, when they first kissed, meeting each other's parents. It was their special little place and it will forever be there in memory of her father.

"Isn't it pretty?" Katniss ask.

"Yes," he replies.

Katniss walks him across the bank and they enter the wooden cabin through the door that's left constantly open. She closes it behind her and takes a seat on the floor. He sits next to her and they talk about their adventure. Leaving the town park and going into the meadow and then taking a hike up to her and her father's special place.

"This can be our special place. We will always come here and talk because we're always going to be best friends, forever and ever. Even when you have children of your own we'll still be best friends okay?" Katniss says proudly.

"I promise," he says, holding out his little finger. She holds our hers and connects their fingers together. "Pinky promise."

"Pinky promise," she repeats before stamping the promise with her thumb. "Every time we come here we need to hug and then leave okay?"

"Why?" he asks.

"Because that's what me and my daddy did. So if it's now our special place then we need to do it."

"Okay."

"And, you need to make a wish every time you leave, if you don't you'll have bad luck."

They make a deal that they will go there every month at least once, just the two of them. And that is what they do, ever since little seven year old Katniss and little seven year old Peeta went for their adventure they've been inseparable. They visited their special place every month when they were seven, every month when they were eight, every month when they were nine, every month when they were ten and every month when they were eleven.

When they were twelve they didn't go every month, they went every week. They never got tired of each other's company up in their special place; they loved being together every second of the day that they could be together.

They're fourteen now and they still hike up the hill together, Katniss first and Peeta following behind her, just as he always does when they make this long walk to their special place. They make it to the top and Katniss races across the soft ground and makes her way into the cabin, her dress flowing in the wind as she runs.

Peeta leans down and picks a daisy from the grass below him and continues to walk towards the cabin. He opens the door and walks in, closing the door behind him just as he does every time he enters the room. He walks over to where Katniss is sat on the floor and he sits beside her. He presents the daisy in front of her and she blushes. She isn't used to being presented with flowers or any sort of present from the people around her. She's a closed off girl with only a few friends, she keeps herself to herself and her business her own. She doesn't bother with the 'popular girls' because she'd much rather be with her childhood best friend, Peeta Mellark.

He places the daisy in her hair just behind her ear and she thanks him. "You look beautiful," he whispers. And she does, she looks beautiful. Her natural, near to no, makeup is perfect for her. The flower which is now sitting on her ear pulls her look together. She is beautiful. Her blush grows redder as his words radiate through her body. "Thank you," she replies quietly.

They do what they always do, talking about everything, about school and about the people in it. They talk about the newest gossip that's travelling around the school halls about how Clove and Marvel hooked up at that party everyone was at last weekend. Everyone but Katniss.

"What's this I heard about you and Delly Cartwright?" she asks, obviously teasing him.

"What do you mean?" he asks, obviously embarrassed that Katniss has found out about his little secret.

"Well apparently, last weekend at the same party Clove and Marvel hooked up at, you apparently had your tongue down popular girl, Delly Cartwright's throat for most of the night. Rumour has it that you wouldn't leave each other alone. Some people even say they're surprised you didn't get it on right there and then."

Peeta blushes rose. He freezes for a moment, how did she find out about that? "Well, eh. I may have had a little drink and she totally came on to me. I was hanging out with Finnick, Annie and Johanna and then over she comes and just latches onto me like a leech." Katniss bursts into a contagious laughter that only causes Peeta to fall over and laugh too.

"So, Peeta Mellark finally had his first kiss with Delly Cartwright. That's slept with more boys than I've looked at?" Katniss mocks.

"Eh, well, I wouldn't exactly call what we were doing kissing," he confesses.

"What do you mean?" she asks, concerned almost.

"It was more like being slobbered on and having the hell sucked out of my neck and lips, it was awful. She's so desperate."

"So that's what these marks are here on your neck and down here on your collar bone?" Katniss raises her eyebrow at him and he flushes red. Katniss pulls down his shirt a little and looks at the faded purple bruises. "She gave you hickeys. Delly Cartwright gave you, Peeta Mellark, hickeys!" she laughs.

"Hey, it's not funny. It's not like I asked her personally to come over and suck on my neck." They both fall into a laughter that they can't stop. The sound of each other's laughter comforts the other.

"There's a reason I wanted to come up here today, I couldn't wait any longer to tell you. I don't want you to be more upset than you need to be about it." Peeta says softly.

Katniss moves closer to Peeta's body, leaning her head into his shoulder and they both relax. "What is it?" she asks.

"We're moving." He says.

Those two words shut Katniss' whole world down. Her best friend is moving, moving away from her. She's never going to see the boy who she was brought up alongside of, she's never going to experience being at his wedding, she's never going to be able to tease him about the girls he kisses and most of all she's never going to come to their special place with him again.

"W-what? You can't move!" she protests.

"I know, I've told my mother this but she doesn't listen to me. She says it's for the best and that the bakery we're being transferred to in another District is way better than the bakery here and there's more business down there. That means more money."

Katniss feels her heart being ripped out of her chest and she cries. Something she's never done in front of Peeta, ever. Not when she'd fall out of a tree and cut her leg open, not when she'd scrape her knees on the floor or when she hurt herself. Peeta's never seen Katniss cry, and knowing that he's the reason she's crying makes him tear up.

"Hey, don't cry. It's going to be okay, we still have skype remember? And we can write to each other, and considering we'll be getting more money in from the bakery I'll be able to catch the train to see you all the time. I'll still be here."

"Peeta, you're moving away." She sobs into his chest. He holds her for what feels like an eternity. He doesn't want to let her go but he's going to have to let her go one day, he's moving. Moving away from his best friend, moving away from all the memories they've created together, moving away from the life they have together.

"What am I going to do? You're my only friend Peeta, I can't go to school alone and without you? You know that when you're sick I act sick so I don't go in either. It's easy for you, if I was moving away you'd be fine. You're easy to talk to and you can make friends. You had the prettiest girl in school throwing herself at you for God's sake! Peeta what am I going to do? You can't go, you can't leave me." She sobs into his chest. "You can't leave us," she whispers to herself.

After hours of trying to calm her down, Peeta finally manages to. He promises her that he'll visit her often and that they won't lose contact, and that they'll be best friends for ever and ever, just as they promised when they were little. It's getting dark out and they need to walk at least a mile to get back to the District. Peeta leaves tomorrow night so they're going to spend the rest of tomorrow with each other.

They both stand up from the floor in the cabin and look into each other's eyes. Peeta smiles and Katniss shows sign of a smile on her lips. They pull each other in for a hug, just as they do every time they're about to leave the cabin. Katniss pulls away from the hug and pulls his lips down to hers and she kisses him.

She uses her first kiss on her best friend. Not because he's leaving tomorrow but because she's fallen in love with him since they were children. After a while Peeta pulls back from the kiss and looks into her eyes and kisses her on the forehead and makes his wish, to see Katniss again.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1- Hitting the Capitol

*Buzz*

I roll over onto my side and slam my fist down onto my phone. "Stupid thing," I mutter under my breath. I close my eyes tighter and breath the breath I didn't realise I was holding in. I rub my eyes and finally sit up, stretching both my arms above my head; I lean over and pick up my phone from the side of my bed.

7.00 am. Why am I awake so early? I slide across my phone and type in my four numbered passcode, and open the messaging app straight away. I see a few unread messages from a group chat, 'drinking tributes.' I laugh out loud, why did they name it that?

I open the messages and read the most recent one. 'Everyone up? We're leaving for the Capitol in 2 hours, I'll pick Annie up first and then I'll be there to pick you up Katniss, don't be late or I will grill you. – Johanna.' That's right, we're going to the Capitol for a girls weekend considering it's Johanna's birthday on Monday and we're all working.

Johanna planned for us all to hit the Capitol for a full weekend, a full weekend full of drinking and boys, Johanna's heaven. She's instructed me that I need to relax and let my hair down; she's always telling me that I work too hard and I have earned a well-deserved break. I roll my eyes at the thought. The last time we all got drunk together was my 21st birthday a few months ago; we didn't go anywhere special only to a small club on the outskirts of the District. We had a few drinks and one thing led to another and you could say the rest is history.

I climb out of bed, pushing the loose strands of my braid back so they're not on my face. I take a quick shower and wash my hair, I shave the hair from my body and pluck my eyebrows to my usual look. I actually look decent and like a girl. I haven't taken care of my appearance lately because I've been too busy working, that's what I like to do. Busy myself in work and forget about my problems, not that I really have any major ones, just little everyday problems you find yourself in.

I'm finally ready and I have a packed bag by 8:30, I text Johanna and tell her I'm ready when she is and when I wait for the reply I open up my laptop and check my emails. One email from a clothing company that I just ordered my new work uniform from has emailed me back about shipping and how long it will take. I write a short reply and shut down my laptop, leaving it on my bed. I've been demanded to leave anything related to work behind and to not take it, I'm obsessed with working as Annie would say. I'm really not; I just enjoy having money and saving for my little sisters birthday present that she's been nagging our mother for since she turned fourteen.

I unlock my phone and open up the Facebook app, scrolling down my newsfeed just like I do every morning, one post catches my eye. Delly Cartwright, hm the memories I have with this girl when we were younger. I really didn't like her, she's slept with more boys than I can count on both hands and feet and people still respect her, like how? If that was me and if I had slept at least half of the boys in our year at school, everyone would be throwing the word 'slut' at me like no tomorrow. How can people respect her, ew, it makes me feel sick.

She posted a quote, a long one too, so I read through it: 'Do what makes you happy. If there's someone in your life that's bringing you down, ditch them. It's your life and nobody else's therefor you should make the best out of it. If you want something, go and get it. Nobody's just going to give you things on a plate, you have to go and get it yourself and if that means loosing people, then it's not meant to be anyways. Forget your past. Don't look back. That was yesterday and today is a new day. You can be whoever you want to be. Speak your mind; get your voice out there. Your teenage years don't last forever; they will end, even though it doesn't feel like it. One day you're going to look back onto these years and think 'why did I care so much about _' because in 10, or even 20 years' time, none of these things will matter. You might have a husband/wife, a house and a family or maybe you'll be traveling the world... Who knows what the future holds? Happiness will come, whether it's tomorrow, in a week's time, a month or even a year or two. One day, you will find joy in life again, just like when you were a kid. Take as many photos as you can. Memories don't change but people do. You'll look back on them in a few years' time and smile. These are the stories you'll tell your children and your grandchildren. Treat others how you wish to be treated. If someone's having a bad day, cheer them up. You'd want the same to you. Make new friends. Step out of your comfort zone, it brings great things. In a few years' time, you won't look back and regret the things you didn't do. Life is special. Make the most of every minute. You'll never be as young as you are now. Every second is another moment close to the end. Nothing is guaranteed. Work hard, have fun. Life is precious, make the most of it.'

That is the biggest load of shit I've ever seen her post of Facebook, ever. What are the stories she's going to tell her children and grandchildren? Oh yeah, 'children, I lost my virginity when I was twelve in the back of your fathers best friend's truck with your fathers best friend. She isn't a teenager anymore, she's almost twenty two, and she needs to stop posting pathetic shit like this on the internet and sort herself out for real. She was just the high school slut who got D's on not only on her homework. I shake my head and lock my phone; I pick up my bag and head for the front door.

Johanna texts me and tells me she's outside so I go on out, making sure I lock the front door behind me, and get into the back of her car.

"Hey Brainless, you okay?" she asks politely.

"Yeah I'm good," I reply.

"Ready to hit the Capitol and show them what were made of?" we all laugh a little.

"Never been more ready, they're not going to know what's hit them."

The car drive to the Capitol takes a little over four hours so I used that time to get some sleep in. By the sounds of Johanna's plans I'm going to need as much sleep as I can possibly get.

We're just checking into the hotel when Annie sparks up a conversation. "So, what's the plans for tonight then? Get ready, go out, get drunk and find our way home?"

"Yes, that's basically our plans. Why did you have something else on your mind?" Johanna asks.

"Just see if we can pick up a few boys, Katniss here hasn't had a bit of boy action since she split with Gale Hawthorn." I instantly go red at the thought of Gale, Gale Hawthorn.

Gale and I had a summer romance type thing last year, we never did anything major just kiss and a few other things but we didn't have sex. I didn't like him that much, and he's slept with Delly so I didn't want to catch anything that she might have given him, no matter how many times he told me he was clean. I wasn't taking the risk with it.

"Hey, nothing happened, I told you." I blush at the thought.

"He got himself a quick feel and a cheeky suck. I wouldn't call that nothing, Kat." Johanna blurts, as we take the elevator up to the floor our rooms on. I blush crimson. "You know it's true otherwise you wouldn't be as red a traffic light. Don't worry, we're going to get you some action this weekend." She nudges Annie before carrying on, "aren't we Annie?"

"We sure are, you're not leaving the Capitol until you've at least got off with one man. You're a pretty girl, you'll have the men all over you and we want you to admire it. Think of it as work, just kiss and move on unless you see one you really like and maybe bring him back to the hotel room." Annie laughs.

"Okay girls, enough of that."

"Katniss Everdeen is actually blushing, what have we done to deserve this wonderful pleasure of your blush?" Johanna jokes. I just laugh. I don't see what the big deal is about me not having taken a boy to bed yet. Maybe I'm waiting the right one? Or maybe I'm waiting until I'm completely drunk out of my mind so I don't feel a thing and I won't remember it the next morning. Who knows?


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 2- Blonde Boy

The elevator stops on our floor and we all file out carrying our weekend bags, filled with alcohol and clothing. Johanna and her alcohol, she's getting more like ol' Haymitch- my employer.

We walk together and find the hotel room we're staying in this weekend. I unlock the door and swing it open, the room is beautiful, absolutely beautiful. You open the door and see a beautifully colour co-ordinated living area which then opens out into a small kitchen. Inside there's three doors which I presume lead to the three bedrooms. It's nothing like a hotel suite; it's more like an apartment. Similar to the apartment I used to share with my mother and little sister until we moved into a small house.

Johanna runs past me and straight into the living area, she throws her bags onto the small floral sofa, I make my way slowly into the living area and put my bags down on the floor by the small little coffee table.

"Let's choose rooms and then crack open the alcohol and get out into town!" Johanna squeals. I roll my eyes at her, she only thinks about drinking and having a good time. I can tell that by the end of this trip I'm going to need a new set of kidneys and possibly a new liver.

Annie and Johanna run to the two rooms on the side which leaves me right in the middle of them both. Great. We all know why they've done this. They're both obviously going to bring boys home so they don't want to be in the rooms next to each other when they're with these boys. So I'm stuck in the middle and I get to listen to the both of them, isn't this just the best weekend away a girl could ask for.

"Get the alcohol and meet me in the kitchen!" Annie shouts as I walk into my room to put my bags down.

"Hey, I'm going to get ready first before we start drinking. I don't want to stick a false eyelash to my actual eyeball." I say laughing.

"Ah yes, that's a good idea," Johanna whispers.

"Okay, change of plans, get ready and then get the alcohol and meet me in the kitchen!" Annie yells. So that's what the three of us do. We all get ready in our separate rooms, I don't think I could cope getting ready with them and spending the whole night with them. I get my makeup done, not taking it over the top, a natural eyeshadow with a darkened outer 'V', a pink blush and some nude lipstick. I'm not a big fan of getting dressed up and wearing cement buckets of makeup. I'd rather be wearing my sweats with no makeup on and a bun right in the centre of my head. But I've been told, endless amounts of times, that this weekend I need to let my hair down and have fun.

I change into my nude coloured bodycon dress. It is tightly fitted with a small slit at the top, showing off a little cleavage, with two thin cross straps which cross over at the back and attach to the dress just above the bottom of my back. This dress is very revealing and completely out of my comfort zone. I'm shocked that my little sister had bought and picked this out for me to wear. If I ever seen her in something this revealing I would rip it off her back before she could move a muscle, no-one should be this revealed in public.

I move onto my hair which I've let down in its natural waves. I don't want it all to look too much, so I've gone for a revealing dress with minimal makeup and effortless hair. I smile at myself in the mirror as I smooth my dress over my stomach. I look good, if I must say so myself.

I rummage through my weekend bag and find the nude clutch that matches the dress, and find the nude suede platform shoes. They're not too high but they're high enough that I feel like a statue, towering over people as I walk through the Capitol.

I pick up the alcohol I put on my bed and walk out into the kitchen to see Johanna and Annie setting up some shots along the kitchen counter. Johanna has a coral coloured tight dress on that cuts just high thigh. It has thin straps and has a small triangle cut out between her breasts, like mine, showing some cleavage. She's paired it with a pair of white platforms and a white clutch bag. Annie is wearing a really tight white and gold playsuit. The top is white and crosses over, revealing her cleavage of course, and then goes into shimmery gold shorts. I wouldn't put Annie in something like that but she looks flawless. She's paired it with a pair of gold platforms and a gold clutch bag too.

"Well, would you look what the cat dragged out. Who is this girl and what have you done with Katniss Everdeen?" Johanna mocks.

"What do you think? It isn't too much is it?" I ask, concerned.

"You are to die for, I'm so glad you went for the tight dress, it really shows off your figure. And the way it cuts off mid-thigh shows off your legs, and you have such beautiful legs." Annie says excitedly.

"Why thank you." I reply as I pull a stupid pose.

"Oh, Kas, you're going to have all the boys after you tonight. You need to take advantage of it; you need to finally get out of your shell ok?" Johanna says, taking the alcohol from my hand and putting it down on the counter next to the endless amount of bottles that are already on there.

"I don't really do things like this, you know that. I don't know how to act; it's all foreign to me."

"As soon as you get a few of these down you, you'll be exactly like Annie and me here." I roll my eyes and press forward and throw a few shots back.

"You know Delly's always been jealous of you, don't you?" Annie says.

"Where did this come from?" I ask.

"I was just thinking about how if she saw you now, her face would drop and she wouldn't say it was you."

"Who cares what Delly thinks? She's just the big slut with a tonne of problems she brought on herself. It wouldn't surprise me if she's stacking up the pregnancy test boxes in her cupboard right now."

"Rawr, look at you, Kas, getting all catty."

"Oh shut up."

"You still hate her don't you?" Annie asks.

"Hate is an understatement. Enough about her, let's drink into oblivion!"

"Now you're talking. I like this Katniss more, you should keep this one for a while," Johanna says jokingly.

We have a few drinks in the hotel room before we head out into the night of the Capitol. We call a cab and end up at some club on the edge of the main street. This is okay for the first night here, we don't want to start off rough and end up spending the day tomorrow recovering from tonight. We need to build ourselves up and eventually get worse and the nights go on.

We walk in all together, a few boys dart their eyes to the three of us. Mostly at Johanna and Annie though, you can't miss them, they're effortlessly beautiful and I'm the odd one out in this friendship group. Everything comes naturally to them, the looks, the figure, talking to boys, sex. I'm the complete opposite. I have to wear makeup to look border line attractive, I have to work out, I can't hold a conversation and I haven't had sex. Why are they even friends with me?

I'm snapped from my thoughts when Johanna holds up a glass of wine in front of my eyes. I blink rapidly before taking it and whispering a small 'thanks' into her ear.

We're escorted into a private sitting area, I don't like being in a big group of people, it activates my anxiety. When I get a few drinks down my throat I'll be totally fine.

A few drinks later and we're all a little drunk. Johanna has got a few boys to come over and join us were we're sat. Johanna didn't say much when she brought them over, she was too busy with her tongue down this blonde boy's throat. I roll my eyes at the memory of it. Me and Annie were sat here doing straight vodka shots while Johanna went to the bar to get us three bottles of wine- we love wine. She came back clutching onto this blonde boys hand and leading these other two into our private sitting area. Before we could say anything or ask what was happening she was connected to the blonde boy.

Annie claimed dibs on the copper-haired boy, he was cute, so I was left with another blonde boy who was slightly taller and bigger built than the one that Johanna's with.

"I'm Cato," he whispers in my ear. I smile up at him and take a sip of my wine.

"Katniss," I whisper back.

"What's a group of young, gorgeous girls doing in this club? Shouldn't you all be in the main part of the Capitol where all the business is happening?" he asks.

"It's our first night here, we're starting off slow and then tomorrow we're hitting the main part. We need to get used to the drinking, not everyone's liver is fit for this lifestyle." I laugh, he laughs a little too.

"Well, let me introduce you to my friends. This is Finnick, the one your very pretty friend is currently dry humping in the corner." I look to my left and see Annie and Finnick, 'connecting' in the corner. I laugh a little before returning my gaze to Cato. "And that one," he points to the one who's with Johanna, "Is-" he gets cut off by Johanna running towards us.

"Kas, this is my favourite song, let's dance." Johanna says loudly before pulling me out of my seat and towards the dance floor. I apologise to Cato before she whisks me away. 'Work it' by Missy Elliot. Well, doesn't this just explain Johanna?

We start moving together, the alcohol is really affecting me, we dance like there's no tomorrow, grinding and having a goodtime- something I need to do more often. I feel someone put their hands on my waist from behind, I start to panic and I guess it shows on my face because Johanna shouts about the music, "It's okay, just have fun." So I listen to her. I 'let my hair down' and listen to her words and have fun. The songs continue to change, this person and I continue to dance.

I turn around and see it was the boy that Johanna had been kissing, if you can call that kissing, it was more like sucking his face. But if that's how she gets her men, I won't insult her ways.

"You were with Johanna earlier," I whisper.

"Yes, I wasn't interested in her though. I just couldn't take my eyes off you," he purrs into my ear. I throw my head back laughing before replying. "You don't know what you're saying. You're chemically on another planet right now."

"And you're not?" he asks me.

"Good point," I reply.

We dance for a bit longer until I physically can't anymore. "I need to sit down," I whisper.

"Can I get you a drink?" he asks.

"Sure, double vodka. I'll meet you back over there." I point to where we were all sat before. He nods before ducking off and walking over to the bar to fetch the drinks. I make my way back to the private sitting area to find Annie and Finnick completely making out on one of the love seats, and Johanna and Cato grinding in the corner against each other. I laugh at my friends, they're complete dick magnets.

I take a seat on the empty love seat and wait for blonde boy to come back with our drinks. He comes back shortly and hands me my drink.

"I've ordered for some shots to be sent our way. I guess it's just me and you now considering the other four are two caught up in each other to notice us." He whispers into my ear.

"Yes sure. Tell me about it, they're always like this." I laugh slightly.

"I love that sound," he whispers seductively against my throat."

"What sound?"

"The sound of your laugh, don't ever stop." I smile in response and drink my double vodka. It was stronger than I expected and I pull a face as the liquid travels down my throat. The waitress comes over with a tray full of vodka shots and sets them down onto the table in front of blonde boy and myself.

"I don't think I can do half of these but I can try." I whisper against his neck.

"Just try, ready?"

I nod my head and we begin. We start knocking back vodka shots, each time I swallow I feel the back of my throat burn but I pick up another and take that too. Before I know it we've drunk all of the shots on the tray.

"Nice one," he slurs. I laugh slightly before looking up into his beautiful eyes. We contain eye contact for a while before I look away. "Do you want to get out of here?" he whispers.

"Sure, let me just tell these I'm going and we can go right away." He nods and I get up. I walk over to Johanna and tell her I'm going back to the hotel room, she nods and I go over to Annie and tell her the same.

Me and blonde boy walk back to mine and the girls hotel room together. His arm is around my waist, it's the only thing keeping me from falling flat on my face and ending up on the pavement.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 3 - Mysterious Man

"We're here," I whisper into the side of his neck.

"Okay, I'll follow you up," he whispers back.

I move from his side and make my way through the hotel entry, I pass the woman at the desk who handed us our keys and smile widely. She raises her eyebrow at me, almost in disgust, as blonde boy follows me across the lobby towards the elevator. We get in the next cart and we're whisked up to mine and girls' hotel room floor.

My hands are shaking with nervousness. I've never done anything like this before, like ever. The only thing that's similar to this is when me and the girls went out a last summer for Annie's 20th birthday and I snuck home at 4 in the morning with gale, my boyfriend at the time, and I tried to get him and myself up two flights of stairs without making a noise and waking up everyone in the house. I failed so bad and made the biggest noise ever which woke my little sister up, she was laughing so hard at me. I fell up the stairs and he just fell on top of me, anyone who seen us probably thought we were going at it at the top of my stairs.

I shake the thought from my head and walk myself and blonde boy quietly down our hotel room floor. I grip his hand tightly as I rush and unlock the hotel room door. I manage to open the door one handed and pull us both in. I close it behind us, not locking it because Johanna and Annie will be back shortly, with the boys they've been with all night, no doubt.

"Drink?" I ask him.

"I've think we've both had enough of that. I was thinking something else? Something different?" he purrs, making his way over to me and backing me against the wall. I react the only way I know how when someone pushes me against a wall. I pull his head down to my lips and kiss his softly before it turns more passionate. His tongue glides along my bottom lip and I almost instantly grant him access, I bet he thinks I'm one of those desperate girls who can't get enough of having sex, but is he wrong, oh so wrong.

The kiss turns deep, our tongues move together, almost like their dancing the salsa. He picks me up and I wrap my legs around his middle. His one hand moves so it's cupping my ass, and the other stays firmly on the wall, caging me against his body.

"Where's your bedroom?" he pants as he pulls away from my lips. I point to the three rooms and whisper, "the middle door." He nods and connects his lips back to mine.

"How do you take this dress off?" he whispers into my ear.

"Just lift it over my head," I pant.

He lets me slide down his body so he can take my dress off me. So he does, he carefully lifts the garment over my head and throws it to the floor, I push off his jacket and slowly start to push his white shirt over his head. I run my palm down his torso, he's so… ripped. How did I manage to get this man in my apartment? Let alone get him topless.

After a while of us connecting, mouth to mouth, not the CPR type but the heated, sexually frustrated type, we move along to the bedroom. He pushes my door open and leads my over to the bed. He drops me on my back and is back on me like a leech.

I could get used to some affection every now and again. No matter what Gale and I did, it felt nothing like this, he was always so demanding, so… dominant. I can only imagine what it would be like to have sex with Gale, no touching unless he demanded me to. I'd basically be lying there like a sandbag while he did delicious things to my body. I scold myself for thinking about Gale and what he would do to my body and focus on the blonde boy.

I part my legs and he makes his way into them, his pelvis grinding into mine. I grind mine back into him and hear a groan escape his throat, oh so… sexy.

I move my hands down his toned torso and to his belt. I slowly start to unbuckle it as I take his tortured kisses to my neck and collar bone. I make do with what I can and unbuckle his belt, followed by popping open his trouser button. I push his trousers down his legs with my feet and leave them at the end of the bed.

Before I know it he's stripped me of my strapless nude bra and matching panties and he's removing his boxers. I blush at his size, who knew a man could be that size.

After ten more minutes of sucking and kissing each other's necks he finally nestles himself between my legs. "You ready?" he pants. I nod eagerly and he slowly pushes himself into me, I can't contain my gasp as he stretches me. Johanna and Annie never mentioned it hurting this much; I must scold them in the morning for this.

A gargled cry leaves the back of my throat as he pushes himself deeper, "god, you're so tight," he murmurs, finding a pace that I can't match him at. More cries escape my lips, as he continues this both pleasurable but horrific torture.

"I've never done this before," I gasp as I find my release, spiralling around him. He pushes into me again and finds his release, grunting as he does.

"Seriously? Why didn't you tell me before," he whispers as he collapses onto my body.

"I never thought to," I say between breaths.

"Did I hurt you?" he asks as he pulls out of me, I gasp and nod slightly.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers against my neck as he presses a kiss to it. "Just get some sleep, you'll feel okay in the morning, I promise." I nod and he rolls off my body and to the side of my bed, panting as he does.

I slowly fall into a well-deserved sleep.

I'm awakened by the screaming from Johanna and Annie as they shake my body back to life. I'm exhausted, I feel as if I haven't slept in at least five days. Johanna raises her eyebrow at me as I sit up in bed. I look to the left and see a sleeping form and my cheeks instantly burn up, I can basically feel them turning red. "Get him out," I mouth to Johanna and she does exactly that. She nudges his sleeping form and he instantly jumps up. He scrambles around the floor for his boxers and his trousers. He pulls them up over his legs and runs towards the front door. When I hear the door slam shut I burst out in laughter.

"Well, that was one way in getting him to leave," I say as I clutch the sheet to my naked body.

"Don't laugh, we need the details. Katniss Everdeen, the Katniss Everdeen, has just lost her virginity to a man in this hotel room," Annie squeals. My cheeks heat at the thought of the girls knowing I had sex last night.

"H-how did you know I had sex?" I ask nervously.

"Katniss, your dress was on the floor in the kitchen and his shirt was lying next to it. When we walked in with Finnick and Cato we knew that you finally did it. And your door was wide open and the two of you were lying in bed together. Naked." Johanna answers.

"Oh yeah… about my dress-"

"It's fine. What was his name? Cato and Finnick said this morning that he was their friend," Johanna cuts me off.

"I, uh, I don't know. We never really got around to introducing our names we kinda just had sex…"

"Katniss Everdeen, I am overly proud of you right now," Annie squeals.

"Oh yeah, that reminds me. You guys never told me sex hurt so much, I was basically crying from the pain of it." I laugh and they join in.

"Oh brainless, it gets better. It was only because it was your first time. I can't believe you let a boy, whose name you don't even know, take your virginity though."

"I know. I kind of feel like Delly right now. I feel so… filthy."

"You are nothing like Delly. How many boys has she slept with again? Remind me."

"At least half of our district," Annie says confidently. We all start to laugh.

"But seriously, why do I feel so filthy?"

"Because you just done dirty business with blonde boy, a boy whose name you don't even know, let me remind you." Johanna laughs.

"Yeah okay, I get the point." I scold.

"Don't worry, you'll get to see blonde boy again tonight. We've planned to go into the main part of the Capitol with Finnick and Cato. You can ask him his name then." Annie and Johanna exchange glances and both fall into a laughter that I cannot join in with. I can't believe it. I've spent all my life judging Delly and calling her a slut for sleeping with numerous of boys but now I feel exactly like her. I just slept with a boy whose name I don't even know.

The rest of the day goes by with a blur and before any of us know it, it's time for us to get ready for our night out with the boys and mysterious man.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 4- Round 2

"So are you glad you waited this long?" Johanna asks. I raise my eyebrow at her, I haven't been paying attention to anything that they've both been saying. I've been too interested in eating my egg and bacon sandwich.

"Huh?" I say, confused.

"Are you glad you waited as long as you did to have sex?"

"We're still talking about this?" I sigh.

"We just want to know the details and stuff. It's not every day you lose your virginity, Kas. And seeing how sudden it happened is confusing. We want you to let us in and share the details."

"You don't see me pestering you on how your sex life is and how big the men are that you let do you!" I say angrily.

"If you asked, we'd tell you."

"Don't be so disgusting. It's a personal thing, just because you've both slept with what? Ten boys each and are willing to spill the details doesn't mean I am!"

"Kas, calm down. We're only trying to get some information out of you."

"Yes, well maybe I don't want you to know that information!" I scream.

They pass glances to each other before falling into their own conversation. I rake my hands through my hair and let out a deep sigh. It's obvious they're talking about me. They're sat two chairs away from me, having a full blown conversation about me. How stupid can they get.

"Have you both quite finished yet?" I ask.

"Nope, we're going to hold you against this for the rest of your life," Annie laughs.

"Let's not forget, you both had one night stands last night as well, not just me."

"At least we knew the boys names, Kas."

"Alright, seriously enough." I snap. I walk to the bathroom, going into my room and picking up a white fluffy towel as I walk past.

I walk into the bathroom door and lock it shut. I've had enough of Johanna and Annie judging me for not knowing his name. I never thought to ask his name, he just went by the name Blonde Boy. If it is true what they're saying and that we'll see them all tonight again, I'll just ask him then. I know the girls don't mean what they're saying, but when they keep saying it over and over again it gets frustrating. That's the thing with Johanna- she doesn't know when to stop. She will keep on about everything until someone does something about it and tells her to basically, Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

I turn the shower on the hottest they have and add a scented sashay into the compartment which says 'enter fragrance of choice'. Lavender, not my ideal smell but it will do. Anything will do to get the smell of sex and sweat from my body. I really do feel filthy.

How people can have numerous amounts of one night stands I'll never know, I've had one and I feel disgusting. I might just bring him home again tonight, if I see him, so it isn't classed as a one night stand and I'll feel better. Maybe.

I quickly strip from my leggings and baggy top and get into the shower, letting the hot water run over my body, clearing off the sweat and smell of sex.

I let the steaming hot water drizzle over my aching body. I've been so worked up from the girls that it took my mind of the sudden ache I feel on my inner thighs and the obvious place. I've never heard one person, not one, complain this much about the morning after they had sex for the first time. I guess it feels even more because I'm still drink. Hungover a little. We were meant to be easing ourselves onto the drink but it seems like we jumped on it straight away, and that was in a small bar. God help us tonight when we hit the main street of the Capitol. Littered with teenagers and young adults, all wanting to do one thing. Get shit faced.

I wash my hair thoroughly, massaging the scented shampoo into my scalp. I rinse it and then move onto washing my body, I instantly relax when I start massaging the soap into my delicate skin. I wish I could freeze this moment right here, and stay here forever, under this shower head, with water pouring down onto my body. Perfect.

I climb out and wrap the white fluffy towel around myself. I pick up my discarded clothes and take them with me to my room- the one situated in-between Annie and Johanna's.

I quickly walk into my room, avoiding the girls for as long as I can. If I have to stick them all night tonight again then I need to keep my distance for now. I slip some underwear and a baggy top over my head and wrap the towel up in my hair. I personally think I should go out tonight looking like this. I've never seen myself looking so hot. I laugh out loud at my thoughts. That's how sad I am, I laugh at my own pathetic jokes.

Annie pops her head around my door and peeks in, "we're planning on leaving around four, we're going for some food in one of the Capitol nicest restaurants and then we're going to start slow with the drinks and slowly make our way around all the clubs."

"Okay, I'll be ready by half four."

She nods and then leaves me alone to get ready. I look at the clock on my phone and notice it's half past 2. I sigh, half of the day has gone already and I've done nothing but argue with the girls. Tonight better make up for the shit day I've had so far.

I use the time I have to get ready, perfecting my smoky eye look and applying the right amount of lipstick. I curl my hair in loose curls that fall down my back nicely.

Quarter past four already, where did the time go?

I pick up my teal dress with a crossover neck. It has a part cut out just under the middle of my breasts and above my belly button. I wouldn't go for anything that exposed my bellybutton, the thought of that on show makes me feel physically sick. The dress ends at my mid-thigh again, showing off my long legs. The back has a simple single zip that starts just at the base of my back and zips up to just under my shoulder blades. The cross over straps at the front single out into two straps that attach over my shoulder blades. I pair my dress with some white simple heels and a white clutch bag, not wanting to go too over the top; it's only a night out in the capitol when it comes to it.

I walk out to the kitchen to find Johanna and Annie sipping from their wine glasses. Annie motions to a wine glass at the edge of the table for me to drink. I raise my eyebrow at the both of them before picking it up and taking a sip.

"You both look lovely," I say, eyeing the both of them up. Johanna is wearing a black lacy top that cuts just above her bellybutton with a matching black mini skirt. Keeping it simple, but she looks so beautiful. She's straightened her shoulder length black hair, and it lays dead straight to her shoulders. She's paired it with a simple pair of black heels and a simple black clutch bag. Annie's wearing another playsuit but this time it's a peachy-nude colour and she's paired it with grey heels and a grey clutch bag. Annie has styled her hair beautifully but simple, she's loosely braided her fringe back and left her hair in waves that float down and cover her shoulders. They both look very… prepared, to hit the Capitol tonight.

"I've text Finnick and he said that he and the boys are going to meet us in the club. They're going out a little later tonight so they can stay out longer and possibly drink more. He said they're all suffering with a hangover." Annie says confidently.

"Can't we just spend some time together, us girls, before we go off with some boys we just met? I thought that's why we came here? To spend time with each other and to get me away from work?" I reply.

"That's why we're not meeting them until after, Kas." I nod my head and drink the rest of my wine. We leave the hotel room shortly after, and make our way to a fancy Capitol restaurant.

We order the lightest things on the menu, but also make sure they fill us. We're going to need so much energy tonight if we're hitting the main part of the Capitol; it's going to be crazy and full of people with such a great atmosphere.

After we've eaten we sit at the restaurant for a while and have a few drinks. When seven o'clock rolls around we decide it's time to make our way to the first club. We pay off the bill and make our way down the main street of the Capitol, past all the hormonal teenagers who are in skimpy little dresses that barely cover their packages. I swear one of them you could almost see their unborn children. I never dressed like that when I was sixteen, seventeen and eighteen. I still don't dress like that now, yes I show a little cleavage but I'm twenty one, I know how to say no.

Johanna, Annie and I get a few wolf-whistles as we walk down the street together, I roll my eyes at them. Hormonal teenage boys, what else would they be? We get a few evil starts from the teenage girls they're with too. Like we're going to come over there and steal your men ladies, no. They all probably have dicks the size of peanuts and wouldn't last ten seconds in bed. Woah, that remark was not like me.

"Over here," Johanna calls as she see's Cato looking around for us. We're sat in the private section of the club again; having a little privacy really does give it something extra. You don't have those hormonal teenage boys eyeing you up constantly; you can just sit and have a few drinks until you're ready to join the rest of the crowd on the dance floor.

Annie nudges me as I drink the rest of my wine, "blonde boy's here. You've just got lucky." I burst out in laughter, almost spitting my wine over Johanna who's sat opposite us on the other side of the little table.

The boy's come into our private area and we all stand to greet them. I blush slightly at the sight of blonde boy, he looks outstanding. His white shirt and black tight jeans really do things for him, he looks wow. Johanna kisses Cato on the cheek and pulls him down to sit next to her, Annie does the same to Finnick and I stand, talking to Blonde boy.

He kisses me on the cheek and whispers to me, "can I get you a drink?" I pull back and smile, nodding my head. "Okay, I'll be back now. What are you drinking?"

"Oh, um, surprise me."

"Okay I will." He laughs before walking off down to the bar. I turn around and join the group of four who are already deep in conversation.

Finnick rests his hand on Annie's thigh, rubbing small circles with his thumb, while Cato has his arm around Johanna's back, no doubt caressing her bare skin at her lower back.

"So, you and him last night, did the deed?" Finnick asks, winking as he does. I turn crimson, looking away. Annie slaps Finnick's hand and he bursts into laughter. "You both so did it, he hasn't shut up about you today. You're all he's been talking about, I couldn't wait to get out of that hotel room and back out with you guys so he would finally shut up."

"He was talking about me?" I ask.

"Talking is an understatement." I laugh slightly and stand as he comes back.

I take my drink out of his hand and lead him back to where we're all sat. I take a sip, double vodka and coke. "Thanks," I whisper into his ear.

"You're welcome," he whispers back.

He rests his hand on my leg. His hand is large, much larger than mine, and he rubs small circles into my upper thigh, he's good with his hands. I blush at the thought of his hands on my body, everywhere. I take another sip of my drink to get the thought of it out of my mind.

"Shots?" I say, loud enough for us all to hear. They all say yeah so I stand up to get them.

"I'll come with you, I need a refill anyways," Johanna says. I nod and we both walk to the bar together.

"So, you happy to see him again? You're totally taking him back to the room tonight again aren't you?" she asks. I bite my lip and close my eyes, shaking her question from my mind. "You totally are. As soon as he put his hand on your leg, you were gone. It's like he took you to another place, he must've been a good fuck."

"Johanna," I scold.

"Sorry brainless, just speaking the truth."

We go to the bar and order three rounds of shots to get sent up to where we're sitting. I order some more wine and also ask them to bring it up to where we're sat and they nod.

Johanna and I walk back to where the others are and instantly sit back down. Annie and Finnick are already at each other in the corner of the area. He sits on the love seat and she's straddling his lap, kissing him furiously. I roll my eyes at them and pick up my vodka and coke, drinking it down in one go.

The bartender brings up our rounds of shots and leaves them on the table; I smile a thanks and get started. Johanna and Cato are too caught up in each other to notice the presence of anyone else and so are Annie and Finnick so it just leaves me and Blonde boy.

"Just us then," I whisper.

"Looks like it." He replies.

We empty all the shots and my head is spinning when we finish. They're stronger than the ones I remember from yesterday. "They're stronger than the ones yesterday," I say.

"No, yesterday you were just on another planet while we did shots. Today, you're not so bad."

"Hm, guess my plan didn't work out then."

"What plan?"

"To take it easy on the first day and then gradually add more drink as the nights go on."

"Who cares, you don't need alcohol to have a good time.

"But it sure does help." I laugh, he joins in with me and his laugh is perfect. It comes from deep in the back of his throat; it's so manly but yet so comforting. I wish I could listen to him laugh for the rest of my life, that wouldn't be so bad.

I push my thoughts aside and lift my leg over his lap, straddling him. I take his beautifully sculptured face in my hands, pushing him backwards as I connect my lips with his. He accepts my kiss and kisses me back, more fiercely. His hands move around my body and he rests them on my lower back. Massaging circles into my dimples.

"You're coming back with me tonight," I say breathlessly against his lips.

"Of course I am. There wouldn't be no-one who would take my chance to have you again."

So that's what happens, I take him back to mine and the girls hotel room again, we kiss and laugh and have a great time together. He peels my dress off my body, his hands moving slowly as he lifts the dress over my head. He throws it to the kitchen floor, just as he did last night, and I undress him when I get to my bedroom. His body, I can't get enough of it, it's just so… perfect.

We make sweet love in the bed and drift off to sleep with our legs wrapped around each other's and my head on his bare chest, listening to his heartbeat steady out.

But when I wake up, he isn't here. None of his clothes are here; he's nowhere to be seen. Blonde boy's gone and he probably won't ever come back.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 5 - Home

I push back the bed sheets from my body and rummage around on the floor to find my baggy top and underwear. I lift up my bag and look under my bed and I finally find them. I slip my underwear on and then put the baggy top over my head.

I use the hair tie from the floor and put my hair into the messiest bun capable. I throw the sheets back onto the bed in a crumpled up ball and leave the room to go to the Kitchen.

I clutter around in the cupboards and try to find a mug, I'm successful after five minutes of looking, and who keeps mugs under the sink? Who does that?

I fill the kettle up with some water and put it back onto the stand, flicking the button so the water can boil. While I'm waiting for the kettle to boil, I add my coffee granules into the mug I found under the sink. I open up the mini fridge and get out the strawberries, blueberries and raspberries I put in there on the day we came to the Capitol.

I open up all the packages and rummage around the drawers in the kitchen looking for a sharp knife. I put the knife on the side as I pour the now boiled kettle water into the mug with my coffee granules. I stir it around and add a little milk before leaving it to cool on the side.

I find a small chopping board in one of the cupboards and rinse that and the knife off before I put them to use. God knows who used these before me, and what they used them for. I wouldn't like to know either.

I open the packets of strawberries, blueberries and raspberries and take out a handful of each. I wash them under the tab water and then cut the stems and green leafy things from the strawberry and cut them up. I put all the fruit into a bowl and carry it over to the small sitting area that's situated by the kitchen in the open space.

I lift my knees up and put my legs underneath me, balancing the bowl of fruit on my knees as I sip my coffee. Just what I need with the hangover that's running around my mind right now.

"Hey, Katniss," Cato says as he walks out of Johanna's room, pulling his top over his head. I look at him and eye him up before replying a simple, "Hey."

"Where'd he go?" he asks.

"Who?"

"You know who. My friend that you've been nailing for two days now?"

"Oh, I woke up and he was gone. I just assumed you all shot off early." I say, taking a sip of my coffee and eating a strawberry.

"Oh shit, it's Sunday. He has work, I assure you that he would still be here if he didn't have it. He wouldn't have gone without saying goodbye to you. He probably didn't want to wake you up either."

"Such a gentleman." I laugh, Cato joins in and laughs with me. "Why are you out here? Shouldn't you be with Johanna?"

"She's in the shower so I thought I'd come and talk to you while I wait for Finnick to wake up. We're all back off home to District two today, that's why-"

He's interrupted by Finnick skipping out of the room, prancing around in his underwear.

"Someone's happy," I smirk.

"Oh, don't talk about being happy, I'm ecstatic." He basically shouts into my ear.

"Care to explain?"

"Not sure you're worthy of my secrets, Kas."

"What a shame, would love to tell the world one of your secrets." I say, taking the final sip of my coffee and putting the cup on the small table in front of me.

Finnick comes closer and sits next to me on the small sofa, Cato joining on my other side. We make small talk and Finnick tells me he's going to surprise Annie with a small trip to District Twelve in a weeks' time.

"Isn't that just wonderful, a little far for you to travel isn't it? It must be good sex if you're willing to travel ten districts to get some more." I joke.

"What must be good sex?" Johanna says as she prances into the sitting area, taking a seat opposite Finnick, Cato and I, tucking her legs up underneath herself.

"Finnick and Annie's. He's willing to travel ten Districts just to get some more." I reply.

"Well, she'll be pleased to hear that," Johanna smirks.

I thought exactly the same. I wonder if they'll all travel up to District Twelve with Finnick and come and see Johanna and me at the same time. I wonder if they'll bring Blonde boy with them. Hm, how I'd love to feel his hands all over my body again, just as they were last night, gliding up and down over my torso and-

"Kas?" I shake my head from the memory and reply with, "huh? What?"

"You weren't listening?" Finnick says sadly.

"I'm sorry no, my mind was somewhere else."

"Your mind was in your bed, slowly being fucked, over and over again as you raked your hands down his back, making clear red paths of where you've been."

I throw a pillow at his head, he quickly dodges it and it hits a very tired looking Annie. "Good morning to you too, Kas," she laughs.

"Morning, sleep well?" I ask politely.

She darts her gaze to Finnick and smirks before answering, "yeah, it was… interesting."

"Wait, I don't want to know," I say, sticking my hands up in defence.

I stand up, and I self-consciously pull my baggy top longer, providing more protection for my body, not that I really care because I haven't got a bra on.

Cato and Finnick wolf whistle as I make my way over to the kitchen, dumping my empty bowl and coffee mug into the sink.

"Look at the legs on you," Finnick shouts.

"I should've totally banged that when I had the chance," Cato adds.

I just burst into laughter, how immature are they? "Shut up," I shout back.

"She's a feisty one, you like them feisty Cato," Finnick jokes.

"I sure do," he replies.

"Whatever," I laugh.

I wash the bowl and coffee mug without any further interruptions from anyone. Finnick and Cato soon leave, leaving a kiss on my cheek and they're out of the door.

"I feel as if I've known them both for years," I laugh.

"Yeah sure thing, they're really easy to get along with. Lovely boys," Johanna replies.

"You'd both make cute couples. Jo, you and Cato and Annie you and Finnick. I totally ship it."

"Kas, I'm blushing," Johanna says jokingly.

"No but seriously, you should definitely see them again, they might rub off on you."

"I've had enough of him rubbing against me, I don't need him to rub off on me too."

Oh, Johanna. She could really do with a nice guy, she really deserves one. Her last boyfriend was a total ass hole. He only wanted her for the sex, he broke her heart, she really fell for him too. Marvel was his name, a complete asshole he was. It's a shame she didn't realise it sooner, they were together for two years, two years of her life when she could've been with someone like Cato, someone who looks like they'd treat her like she should be treated.

I run to the bathroom and take a quick shower, washing last night away from my body, just as I did yesterday morning. This morning I use a different fragrance, something out of my comfort zone, jasmine. It reminds me of my little sister, Prim. Her favourite fragrance is jasmine, I remember, last Christmas she had ten boxes of perfume that was just pure jasmine. How can she not get sick of the smell? I wear a perfume for a month and I get sick of it after that month. Why would you always want to smell the same too? Like doesn't it just get boring?

I change into some leggings and a grey t-shirt, that's slightly baggy on my frame. I pair it with a pair of old grey converses that aren't even mine, they're my ex-boyfriend Gale's sisters. I just never gave them back because she never asked for them, I just assumed she'd forgotten about them and that they were now mine. Well, they sure are mine now.

"I think I need a liver and kidney transplant," I say as Johanna hands me another cup of coffee.

"I think I need one too, I feel wrecked," she replies.

"I think Annie is too," I say, pointing my gaze to Annie. She's asleep on the single chair, wrapped up in her bed sheets. Her soft pale face looks so much younger than she is. She doesn't look old anyways; just the way her face relaxes when she sleeps makes her look like a teenager again. I wonder if I look the same when I'm sleeping. Probably not, I probably look like the grudge. I'm not a pretty sleeper at all.

"As soon as we get back in District Twelve, I am going straight to sleep, and I will stay that way for the next week."

"Count me in on that one. It sounds perfect, except some of us have to work for a living."

"You have work tomorrow?"

"No, I have work on Wednesday though."

"Eugh, I don't know how you do it. I'd hate to be you."

"Thanks, Jo."

We spend the rest of our morning packing our bags back up. Considering we only came to the Capitol for a weekend, we brought so much stuff. We originally planned to stay until Monday and then go home Tuesday, but after two nights out, in the town, in a row, we're all completely wrecked. We can always come back down here for the extra days we missed in a few months' time. We can find something to celebrate and celebrate that, even if it's the birth of a cricket.

The ride home is awful; the train is bouncing along the track like never before. Having a hangover definitely made it five thousand times worse. But we have to be thankful for the new railway that's directly from the Capitol to Twelve. The old train used to stop at each District, but this one is just directly to twelve. It makes the journey a lot more bearable, knowing that in a few hour we'll be back home and in our own beds. No boys, just sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 6- Secret

The sound of pots banging an clattering downstairs wake me up from one of best nights I've had since I've got home from the girls weekend out in the Capitol. I had at least three hours sleep so I guess I did something right. I rub my eyes tiredly and a flake of skin flicks off and lands on the bedsheet. I scowl at it before pulling the covers up to my chin and laying back down, trying to forget everything- which I'm unsuccessful in.

I have hardly moved since I got home two weeks ago, I've been feeling too ill to move a muscle. I haven't even had the energy to eat because everything I eat just comes back up hours later.

I've managed to get my working hours down to minimal as I just haven't been feeling myself lately. Haymitch said it was okay and that I could take a few days off to rest. By the looks of things I'm going to need more than a few days, how about a month?

I don't know how I even have the energy to get out of bed and get to work, I don't have enough energy to lift a glass of water to my lips at the moment.

"From what you look like, Katniss, you put yourself in serious danger when you went out in the Capitol. Look at the state you're in. You can't even keep tea in your system for longer than an hour. What exactly did you do?" Prim asks as she slips in the side of my double bed.

"Hey little duck, you really don't want to know. I feel awful just thinking about it."

"You can tell me, you know I'm good at keeping your secrets. Even from mom."

"When did you get so grown up, eh?" She smiles and cuddles into my side.

"Katniss, you really should shower. You smell disgusting and your skin has turned, ew," she chuckles.

"I know, I just don't have the energy to keep myself stood up underneath a shower head and let the water wash off the feeling of his hands on my body." Once that escapes my mouth I know what I've done. I've let my little sister know I'm a slut and that I slept with someone. I lift my hand to my mouth and hold it over there for a while.

"So you slept with someone?"

"Well yeah…"

"How many? Or was it just the one?"

"Bloody hell, Prim, who do you think I am? My name isn't Delly Cartwright and I haven't slept with half of the boys in the District. I've slept with one boy and I'm twenty one years old. If you're going to judge me for it, there's the door so get out."

"You mean Brysen's sister?"

"Yes, sorry. I forgot you and Brysen were a thing. But his sister is the District's biggest slut."

"This isn't over the fact that your childhood best friend, Peeta, had his first kiss with Delly was it?" Prim asks. How dare she even bring that up, how dare she even mention Peeta to me. Peeta was my childhood best friend. We would do everything together, people thought that we were twins. Un-identical of course, he had this gorgeous blonde hair that curled on top of his head and I had my long brown wavy hair that fell over my shoulders effortlessly. Peeta's father told us that we'd get married one day but we both just laughed at him and said 'best friends don't marry each other' before running off up into his bedroom.

"Prim, don't be stupid."

"I'm just saying, Kas. When was the last time you seen him or heard off him? I bet it's just because you miss him."

"Well, the last letter I got off him was on my eighteenth birthday, he never got in contact with me again. He's obviously found a new best friend and doesn't want to deal with my shit anymore. It's just crazy to think we were inseparable and now we don't even know what each other look like." I bet you if I see him now, I wouldn't recognise him."

"Why don't you get in contact with him again? I bet he still remembers you, Kas."

"I doubt it little duck."

"It's worth a try. I'm going to make you some soup and when I come back up, you're going to be showered and ready to go out for a walk."

"Okay, don't make too much, I still can't keep some stuff down."

"Sure."

Prim runs off back downstairs so I use this time that she's gone to get out of bed and shower. I force myself from the sheets and peel the sheets off my bed as I get up. I change them so they're clean and they don't have flakes of skin on. I take a quick shower, massaging the body wash into my sensitive skin and scrubbing the shampoo into my hair.

I jump out the shower and quickly change into some leggings and a white top. I crawl back into my bed and wait for Prim to come back up with some soup.

I scroll through my Facebook newsfeed and see that Delly has posted a photo of her and Gale, kissing. I roll my eyes before reading through the caption she added. 'Every girl wants a boyfriend… Who will give you their jacket when you're cold. You want a boyfriend who will comfort you when you're down. You want a boyfriend who will hold my hand in line at the mall and all the girls jealous. You want a boyfriend who will text you every morning, "Good morning, beautiful." You want a boyfriend who will kiss and hug you in front of his friends. You want a boyfriend who will remind you every day how much he loves you. You want a boyfriend who will ring you at 12 in the morning on your birthday and tells you that he never wants to lose you. You want a boyfriend who will love you for who you are. You want a boyfriend who will be your best friend and will never break your heart and will always make you smile. I've found mine, and I couldn't love anyone as much as I love him. 1 year today, I love you baby.'

I throw my phone across the room and watch it bounce off the door. "Are you fucking serious?" I scream. Tears start streaming down my face uncontrollably, I don't even know why. Why am I so angry? Gale meant nothing to me? But if they've been together for a year then that means he cheated on me? He cheated on me with Delly Cartwright? This honestly boils my blood,

"Katniss? Katniss? What's wrong?" Prim asks as she comes running into my room.

"Just Delly, she pisses me off so much. Let's just go for that walk."

"Sure, let me get my boots and we'll go."

She runs down to her room to get her boots and I find my leather jacket and favourite grey converse.

We leave the house together, making small talk as we walk through the district together. Laughing and forgetting about all of our problems- well, mine. She doesn't have any problems, her life is practically perfect. She's naturally beautiful, has a boyfriend, she volunteers at the hospital as much as she can and is saving to go to college. I wish my life was more like hers- simple.

"Hey, let's go to the pharmacy, I want to get you something to stop you from being sick. Seeing you look basically looking like deaths door, it hurts me, Kas. Especially knowing I can't do anything about it too," she says softly.

"Okay, that sounds good to me."

We walk down to the pharmacy and run inside, I go straight to the front desk. The woman behind the desk eyes me up, she couldn't have made it anymore obvious even if she tried. Yes I know I look awful, try going for two nights out in the Capitol in a row and look presentable to the world with only a few hours of sleep each night, I'd like to see you look pretty.

She can't be judging me, has she seen herself lately? She may need to sort her roots out. Her hair is currently bleached blonde but by the look of her roots, her natural colour is a dark brown, maybe even black.

"What can I do for you?" she says rudely.

"Well, I've been feeling really ill these past two weeks, throwing up everything I get into my system and I just haven't had the energy to move at all."

"Hm, try these. If it doesn't go away with in a few days, come back and I'll give you something a little… different."

She hands me over a box of pills and I hand her the money in return. I make my way over to where the bottles of water are stored, I told Prim I'd wait for her while she pays for whatever she's buying.

"You're a bit young to be buying pregnancy tests aren't you?" the woman from over the counter says quietly. My eyes almost pop out of my skull, Prim buying pregnancy tests?

I dart my head around and give her daggers. When we get home we need to have a serious conversation. She better not be sleeping with Delly Cartwrights brother. Out of all the boys she could of picked to be her boyfriend she had to go and pick a Cartwright didn't she?

I walk out of the pharmacy and take the long way back to the house, Prim follows behind me, struggling to keep up with me. I wonder if that's because she's been sleeping with a Cartwright.

"Katniss, slow down!" she yells as I make my way through the front door and stomp up the stairs. "Let me explain," she squeals.

I stop outside my bedroom door and turn to face her. "If this is your way of telling me you've been sleeping with your boyfriend, I don't want to know!" I scream.

"Katniss, they're not for me!"

"Then who the hell are they for then?"

"They're for you. I've gone over your symptoms, since I've been volunteering at the hospital I've learnt quite a lot. And I think you might be pregnant."

My heart drops, I feel as if the world has just collapsed beneath my feet and is pulling me into a dark hole, so deep that I'll never see daylight ever again.

"No, I'm not pregnant Prim."

"How can you be so sure, Kas?"

"I-uh-"

"Exactly." She forces forward the bag full of pregnancy tests into my chest and eyes me up. Her stare forcing me to walk to the bathroom and as soon as I enter the bathroom I fall to the floor and start to sob hysterically. This could only happen to me, I hate myself and I hate my life.

I wish it wasn't like this.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 7

21 months ago I took that pregnancy test alone in my bathroom.

 _"Prim, I can't do this," I scream, hugging my knees on the bathroom floor._

 _"Katniss, deep breaths. You said you're not pregnant yourself so if you're not, then this shouldn't be a problem."_

 _"Prim, you don't understand how I'm feeling."_

 _I take a deep breath, before opening up the bag and tipping out all of the pregnancy tests. How many did she buy? There's like five here._

 _"Prim, get mum. I can't do this. She's taken many tests before, tell her I need her to talk me through it," I say nervously._

 _"Are you sure? Like are you sure you want mum to know? She's going to be so upset with you for not telling her."_

 _"Well, Prim, I wasn't the one who bought these tests and is making myself take them. That was you. So go downstairs and get mum."_

 _"Okay."_

 _I'm not close with my mother, I was more of a 'daddy's girl' but when my father past away I had no-one so I was forced to be alone. My mother would try to confide in me when he passed away but I wouldn't listen, we were never close and I never listened to my mother so why should I now that my father's passed away. My mother and I never had a close bond because we just clashed. I really wished I tried harder as a child to form a bond with my mother, I would have understood more and maybe I wouldn't have turned out to be the stubborn person I am to this day._

 _"Katniss? Katniss? Are you alright? What's going on?" My mother calls from outside the bathroom door. A sense of worry traced in her voice._

 _"Mum," I say with a sigh of relief._

 _"Katniss, what's wrong? Prim came running into the front room and practically dragged me up the stairs saying you needed me."_

 _I take, yet another, deep breath before unlocking and opening the bathroom door. On the other side I find my worried mother and Prim, who's breathing deeply from running downstairs and back up. I should really take her running when I go, she could do with a good cardio workout._

 _My mother instantly takes me into her arms and holds my almost lifeless body, she rocks me gently, providing the comfort I need, the comfort I needed as a child but I blocked out._

 _"What's wrong? Are you hurt?" she asks all in one breath, holding me at arm's length, scanning my body for any sign of being physically hurt._

 _"No, I just need your help. I just, I-I don't know what to do, and I need you to talk me through it."_

 _"Talk you through what, Katniss?"_

 _"How to take a pregnancy test." I look up and see her face has lost all the colour is usually shows. All emotion has been wiped off her face and I sense that she's judging me._

 _"A-A pregnancy test?" she stutters._

 _"Yeah, I- well Prim thought, that, maybe I could possibly be pregnant. It would explain the fact I haven't wanted to move out of bed for the past two weeks, and it would explain the unbearable sickness right?"_

 _"I wasn't aware that you had slept with someone that's all."_

 _"Oh," I blush scarlet. "Yeah, the weekend out in the Capitol really brought all different experiences to me."_

 _"I don't expect you to talk to me about this, Katniss. I know that talking to me hasn't been a strong point of yours ever. And I understand that, but I want you to know that I am your mother and that you can come to me with any of your worries or any of your problems."_

 _"Thank you mum," I whisper into her shirt as I hug her again. I let my tears run down my cheeks and land on her shoulder, resulting in her having a wet patch of my tears._

 _"Hey, hey, don't cry. Things are going to be okay, whether that test is positive or negative, Prim and I aren't going to love you any less, I promise okay?" her words are soothing, I know I should've let her in when dad died, having her would of made my period of depression… capable I guess._

 _She instructs me to go back into the bathroom and to close the door; she's going to be on the other side of the door talking me through exactly what I need to do. Even though my mother's going to talk me through it, I still read the instructions. You can't be extra careful, there's no such thing._

 _I pick up the small plastic cup and urinate into it. This is disgusting, why would anyone ever think of peeing in a cup ad then sticking a few sticks into it and then getting a result of whether you're pregnant or whether you've mind-over-mattered it._

 _"How many should I use?" I call, relating to the numerous amounts of pregnancy tests that are spread out over the sink countertop._

 _"You can use two, to get a more accurate answer. We can always use the others later on or in a week's time."_

 _I nod, but then realise that she can't see me. "Okay, how long do I have to hold them there for?"_

 _"Five seconds, no longer and no shorter."_

 _I pick up two boxes from the sink counter top and open up the boxes. My hands are shaking so badly that I almost dropped them to the floor. I take a deep breath to try and steady my nerves but it's no good. My nerves aren't going to go until I get a definite answer, if I'm pregnant or not._

 _I take the plastic casing off both of the pregnancy tests and notice they're two different types. Why couldn't Prim just buy the same test five times instead of buying different types? It just makes this whole process a whole lot more difficult than it already is._

 _I pick up the little dropper and collect a small sample of the urine and drop a small amount onto the well indicated on one of the sticks. The other test I pick up and hold It into the urine for five seconds, no more, no less._

 _I place them both on the clean counter with the result window facing up. I walk over to the door and open it up. I walk out and walk straight into my mother's arms again. Who knew this would be such a comforting gesture?_

 _"Come on, let's go and make some tea while we're waiting. We'll come back up in three minutes to get the results okay?"_

 _I nod and follow her down the stairs. After three minutes I make my way back up the stairs behind my mother. I'm too nervous to walk in and find out whether I'm pregnant or not. My mother tells me she will look and then bring them out to me. So that's exactly what she does, she walks into the bathroom and picks up the two tests. By the change of her look, I know for a fact that I'm pregnant. My eyes dart down to my stomach and back up to my mother, who is now walking out of the bathroom holding these two tests._

 _"I'm pregnant aren't I?" I say nervously._

 _"Yes," she chokes out._

 _My world comes tumbling down, everything I've achieved so far is ruined, I am pregnant with a baby, a real baby. I can't believe it, I'm going to be a mother._

 _"Congratulations, I guess, Kas?" Prim says softly as she wraps her arms around my waist. I bury my face in her hair and let my tears fall._

 _"The baby is never going to know who its father is, Prim," I sob into her hair, letting all my emotions out of my system. How could I be so stupid and get pregnant from a boy who's name I don't even know? How am I going to explain this to my child when it's born? 'Oh, sorry sweetie, you don't have a daddy because I forgot to ask him what his name was.'_

One year ago my baby was born, my little baby girl. She's my world; she may be the best thing that's ever happened to me. She's changed me; she's made me think of life in a different way than I did before. I wouldn't change my little girl for the world, my little Willow.

I can't look at her without being reminded of how her father looked. Her blonde hair she's obviously inherited from him, and her blue eyes. But that's all. She has my facial features and my attitude so far, except she's more humorous than me, and people fall in love with her almost instantly. I did.

"Mummy, lwook." She says, pointing to her new dress my mother had bought her for her first birthday.

"Oh wow, don't you look like a little princess," I say, picking her up and spinning her around. Her giggles bring joy to my life. It's like music to my ears.

"Pwincess." She tests the word before nodding uncontrollably. I smile at the sight, my little girl, growing up so fast right in front of my eyes.

As soon as I found out I was pregnant I started reading pregnancy books and books all about babies. I wasn't going to be one of those young mums who ships her child off to her own mother to look after while I busy myself in work and going out and drinking.

I told Johanna and Annie when I turned three months pregnant. They couldn't believe it, they wanted to tell everyone and scream it from the roof tops, but I insisted that they kept it quiet. I didn't want people to know I was pregnant, it wasn't that I was embarrassed, I was just scared that people would be asking who the father is and I wouldn't have an answer. People ask that now, but I just change the topic as soon as the words 'father' or 'dad' leave their mouth. Why do people need to know who the father of my baby is? If I don't know, then they certainly don't deserve to know at all. I told Johanna and Annie not to tell Cato and Finnick as they would go back and tell 'Blonde boy'. I didn't want him to know I was pregnant, especially considering I didn't know what his name was. They swore to keep it a secret.

And of course because every time I went out with Willow, people were asking who her dad was, that was her first word. It came to me as a shock and I just burst out in tears. 'Dada' she said as I put her down for an afternoon nap. It broke my heart to hear the word leave her lips, especially it being her first word too. And that's when I knew, she was bound to ask about her dad as she grew up. All the children at her school would have a mother and father and she would probably be the only one who just has a mum. It's going to be so hard trying to explain it to her, but I'll try my best and tell her the truth- well, kind of.

"Say thank you to grandma, can you say thank you?" I coo.

"Thwank woo, granmam," she says cutely. She can't pronounce 'grandma' so she calls my mother 'granmam' it's so adorable. My mother's happy with the little nickname Willow has given her, the first time she said it I think she burst out into tears of happiness.

She's been amazing and really supportive through my pregnancy. She held my hand when I was feeling at my worst, she rubbed my stomach when the pain was unbearable. She wiped away my tears when I cried and she stayed by my side. We've definitely made up for lost time during my childhood, we've came closer together and I think she's happy about it. She's always smiling now, it's nice to see her so happy, especially around Willow.

Prim has loved being an Auntie. She has such a great relationship with Willow, it reminds me of myself and Prim when we were growing up. I'd care for her and play with her, it just brings back all the memories. Mum and I keep warning Prim that she isn't to have any children just yet, but I think my labour put her off having children for life.

 _"The baby is coming," I scream at the top of my lungs clutching my stomach. My mother bursts through the room carrying towels and a bowl of water. She strips the sheets from above me and tells me to breathe deeply, in through my nose and out through my mouth, it doesn't calm me down but I do it anyways. She's the nurse, I'm just the one in excruciating pain._

 _A pool of water leaves my body from between my thighs and I feel completely embarrassed. What is happening to me? I knew that my waters would break but I thought that was just a saying that meant 'the baby is coming, get the fuck to a hospital now!' I didn't think water would actually descend from my body._

 _The contractions are only a minute apart, and by lord do they hurt. It feels as if someone is throwing knives at your stomach and they're piercing you slowly and then moving around by themselves, it's painful. The contractions hurt so bad, they have my clutching the sheets for my dear life and have me screaming through gritted teeth._

 _"I'm never having any more children," I scream, as my contraction ends and I try to re-catch my breath. When the girls I had spoken to talked to me about going into labour, they didn't tell me it was going to be this painful. They probably didn't want to put me off a natural birth, but I wish they did._

 _"I need to check how dilated you are Katniss, you probably won't feel a thing, but I need to see if you're ready enough to deliver this baby."_

 _I don't reply, I just let her carry on with it. She puts on her blue rubber gloves and prods her fingers around in between my legs. "Katniss, it's time. You can do this. It's time to push now, when you feel your contraction, Prim will count to three and then she will count to ten. When she is counting to ten I want you to push. You're going to be okay, you can do this."_

 _I don't reply I just grip onto Prim's hand. A contraction starts and Prim starts counting to three. When she gets to three she starts counting again and that's when I begin to push. When she gets to ten I stop. I pant, trying to get my breath back and try to reduce the pain I'm currently feeling._

 _"That was amazing, Katniss. Another one like that and we'll have the head out. You're crowning, you're doing this really well. I'm so proud of you."_

 _I push again as another contraction takes over my body, squeezing Prim's hand as I push. I hear her wince in pain at how hard I'm squeezing her hand. "Sorry little duck," I whisper._

 _"It's okay, if it's helping you deliver this baby, you keep doing it," she coos._

 _The head is finally out. I just have the rest of the baby to deliver. Mum says that getting the head out is the hardest part and now all I have to do is push like before and the baby should be out in one long push. I push with all the energy I have left in my body and I hear a little strangled cry coming from where my mother it. I instantly cry at the beautiful sound. It's my baby, I've delivered my baby, my baby is finally here. I have a baby._

When Prim held Willow for the first time, she told me she never wanted children. She said I made it look more painful than anything she had ever read about. I just laughed and told her that as soon as I had Willow in my arms for the first time, all the pain was worth it. I'd go through that pain a million times if it meant I'd have a perfect baby girl like Willow. She's more than anything I could ever ask for.


End file.
